Episode 5
Pleasure and the Body's Wisdom with Cyndi Darnell
Cyndi Darnell is an internationally renowned sex and relationship therapist. Her approach spans the clinical to the esoteric. She’s spearheading progressive sex & relationships seminars and workshops for adults and clinicians that deeply change people’s lives. Cyndi’s on a mission to eliminate stigma from discussions around sex, erotisim and pleasure and changing our fears and transform it into freedom.
In this episode, Cyndi and I discuss:
- How the sexual revolution missed the boat to discuss pleasure (especially womxn’s pleasure) that center on what each individual’s motivation is.
- Permission to own your motivation.
- Understanding the story that you’re holding onto that’s holding you back and causing you pain.
- Cyndi shares her distinct definitions of love and sex (much like chocolate and red wine).
- Sex changes over time and so we continue to learn about ourselves.
- The more we experience ourselves the more we understand our motivations.
- Internal motivation is vital, know why you want things to change.
- Sex can be an opportunity to live a more visceral and colorful life.
- Erotic pleasure relates back to early childhood before we had stigmas, values and judgements placed upon us and receive the smiling gaze of another.
- Societal misconceptions: the body is inherently dangerous and the intellect is superior.
- How we participate in keeping myths alive by cutting ourselves off from our own bodies.
- How to reconnect the body through a daily practice of tuning into the body.
- Masturbation as a way of integrating erotic pleasure into your life,
- “Erotic Self Care”
- Consent Culture and Sex Ed that goes beyond Abstinence, Reproduction and even Consent and includes Pleasure.
- Tea and Consent video made an assumption that everyone likes tea: oversimplification of consent being yes vs no
- The real question is ‘what kind of sex do you like?’ Cyndi says this is where the wheels come off for most people.
- Making a practice of talking about sex and erotism.
- Cyndi’s erotic awakening story.
- Coming back to the body, that’s where the wisdom is.
RESOURCES:
Find Cyndi Darnell online at www.cyndidarnell.com
Purchase Cyndi’s video series: The Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal
If you long to know more about erotic desire, passion, what your turn-ons are and how to communicate them with your partner/s – then join Cyndi for The Desire Series.
While these discussions will guide you into the Connectfulness Practice, the podcast is not meant to be a substitute for counseling from a licensed provider. Reach out. Initiate the ripple. Learn more about my connectfulness counseling practice here.
Mentioned in this episode:
